What is Orgasm?
Orgasm refers to the all-encompassing act where a woman can fully take advance of and surrender to all the pleasures that lead up to her climax.
“Orgasm is a pulsing breath of life that births every moment. Orgasm is the chilly tickle on the edge of the skin that draws sensation from the neck down to the tip of your nipple. It’s the warm flush in your face and genitals when you reveal a taboo desire. It is the fire of your hunger and the blazing force that opens you to pleasure.
Do I Need A Partner To Have An Orgasm?
I understand wanting to orgasm with a partner can be a very bonding and intimate experience. Let me stress that part: if you’ve never had an orgasm and you want to, you should s learn how to orgasm for yourself because you deserve it and you don’t have to wait for your partner to get an orgasm. Why the pressure to get an orgasm just to please your partner? I spent years and years able to orgasm on my own, but unable to get there with a partner.
The prevailing mentality: That your orgasm is something you give to your partner, to boost their confidence, prove that you like them, or show that you have good chemistry together. But not something that you get to do for yourself.
Let me repeat myself; Your Orgasm Should Be For You!
Knowing several ways to get yourself off is something everybody should have in their skill set.
- You deserve to spend time learning more about your body.
- You deserve to have more self-confidence.
- You deserve to feel more in tune with and connected to yourself than you ever have before.
- You deserve to feel empowered and enlivened.
- You deserve pleasure and ORGASMS!
How Do I Learn To Orgasm?
If you want to learn how to orgasm, the first step is to stop focusing on trying to have an orgasm immediately, commit to getting to know your body over a period by practicing some mindful masturbation on your own, and just figuring it out. I’m going to tell you how to take charge of your orgasm. Let’s go through the below steps.
Masturbating In Different Ways
Take the time to explore the erogenous zones of your body through masturbation. Touch various parts of your body, and use different types of touch. Touching yourself solo can help you understand your own body and the kind of pressure and friction that feels good and sets a template for knowing how to arouse yourself and have an orgasm during sex.
Focus On Exploring First
When you first start experimenting with masturbation, think of what you’re doing as trying to learn what kind of stimulation feels right for you, rather than trying to learn the quickest possible route to orgasm. There’s no rush to hone in on a foolproof method immediately. Try different speeds and different levels of pressure that can make you feel the most pleasure.
Fantasize Without Guilt
Our brain is the largest sex organ, no matter who you are don’t underestimate the power of mental arousal. Approximately fantasizing about people other than your current partner isn’t dishonest. My advice would be that when doing the exploring, cultivate a vibrant fantasy life, and figure out what your erotic themes are. What turns you on? What are your fantasies? And then experiment with that.
Bring In the Clitoris and G-Spot for Reinforcement
For good reasons, the clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm. Research has proven that women are most probable to reach orgasm by stroking diagonally across the clitoris. The easiest way to tap into that ultimate pleasure is by inserting your index finger a few inches into your vagina, palm up, and curl your finger in a come-hither motion. Combining clitoral stimulation with G-spot stimulation can provide you with a blended feeling orgasm.
But Don’t Only Focus On Your Clitoris—Make Sure to Find You’re Favorites
Try out all of the techniques as mentioned above, and take notes on what you liked and find pleasure in each of them. Then see if you can answer these questions:
- My favorite stroke is:
- The number of fingers I like using is:
- The speed that feels right is:
- The degree of strain that works for me is:
Extra Credit
- Use lube to help your fingers glide over your clitoris effortlessly.
- Try masturbating in different positions. Some women like being on their stomachs. Others like being fully outstretched.
- Bring in Sex Toys; stimulate your clitoris with alluring toys.
- Engage your muscles as you masturbate. Separately, try tightening your toes, fingers, and abs.
No one else is accountable for our orgasms and our delight but us. And then once we learn that, we can communicate that to anyone else who’s interested in coming along for the ride.
